What’s holding you back? Part 2 – What They’ll Say


9-3-17

Welcome back to the What’s holding you back? series. Last week we talked about knowing your goal and picking one you can commit to. You can check it out here. Today we’re going to think about one reason we might be afraid to reach a goal: what other people may say.

Most people have insecurities, some more deep than others. Especially if your goal reaches into one of these, what people do, or even might, say can be terrifying. Enough criticism, even if it’s about something we aren’t particularly unsettled about to begin with, can become impairing. So I tend to try to avoid situations where I’m likely to be criticized. The problem with that is it limits what I’m willing to do or try. I’ve missed a lot of experiences because of it.

It’s something I think about with my writing. It hasn’t stopped me from doing it, but there are things I would have done or would have done differently if it hadn’t been for this fear. Sometimes people ask me about my writing, and I’m embarrassed to talk about it. I’ve tried to figure out why this is. I don’t write things I’m ashamed of. The only thing I keep coming back to is that writing is totally optional, and it’s something I took it upon myself to do. It puts something personal out into the world for criticism or praise. And if it turns out horribly, I alone am completely responsible.

So how do we deal with this fear? First, we can keep our focus on why we’re doing what we’re doing. If we have good reasons behind our goals, let’s remember those. We can think too about Who we are working for. As Christians, anything we do ultimately reflects back to God. 

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men – Colossians 3:23

At the end of the day, as long as God is pleased with us, that’s all we really need to be concerned with. 

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? – Romans 8:31

In a way, we can take negativity as a good sign. Jesus told us we would be talked about badly. And sadly, this will happen. As long as it’s for doing something good, then we don’t need to feel guilty. 

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. – Matthew 5:11

We need to be ready for criticism whether we fail or succeed. The apostles were persecuted and killed because they were teaching their faith well. It’s easy to get in a mindset of trying to do good at something so nobody will bother us. Sometimes that works, but the brightest objects in the night sky are noticed first. With success comes more visibility, so negative criticism may even get worse. We can’t stop it; we just need to be prepared for it.

Even if we fail, and we’ll likely hear about it if we do, we can still hold our heads up because we tried. Maybe my story that I’m querying right now will never get published. In a way, that would be a failure. But it’s been a good learning experience, and I’ve gotten to meet a lot of people because of it. So I don’t regret it. 

What about good attention, though? It’s not all bad. There will be people (hopefully) along the way who encourage us. Accept it. Look for a few people who will support you whether things are going well or not. Listen to them. If your goal takes you on to bigger things, weigh the good feedback. Enjoying it is good, but never let it be what completely drives you. 
Good or bad, we need to keep our focus from becoming what people say to or about us. If your goal is worth it to you, and if you’re doing something God would be pleased with, then keep working away. Find your cheerleaders, and maybe we can even encourage each other. 

What about you? How do you handle negative, or positive, attention? Let me know!

Next week we will be talking about how fearing ourselves can hold us back. 

May the Lord bless and keep you, 

Heather

What’s holding you back? Part 1 – Knowing Your Goal


8-27-17

Welcome to the first post in this series. Chasing a dream takes courage, and we’ll talk about how to deal with what holds you back. Today’s topic: knowing your goal. 

You can’t pursue a goal that you can’t put in words. So the first step is to figure out what your goal is. Let’s say you have a general idea that you want to be able to do something. If it’s a vague idea let’s make it more specific. Maybe you want to learn to make apple pie like your grandma. Now, there’s a goal you can work at. 

Maybe you already have something in mind, and that’s great. Now it’s a good idea to think about whether that goal is a good use of your time. Not everything we do in life has to be tied directly to religion for God to be pleased with it. Pie making doesn’t affect my Christianity, but it could be part of showing hospitality or being a good wife. 

Now that you picked a goal and decided it is worthwhile, you have the foundation for something you can pursue. Think about why you want to do it, because when it gets frustrating this will help you keep going. I happen to really like apple pie, and my grandma makes good ones, so I want to be able to make them too. Pretty straightforward. For another example, I want to write for two main reasons. One is because I need to. Having a creative outlet helps me deal with stress. Second, I want to be able to share God with people. Writing will hopefully let me do that with people I would never meet in person. 

Commit your works to the Lord, And your thoughts will be established. – Proverbs 16:3

Alright, so you have a goal put in words. You know why you want to reach it. Now, think about whether it’s something you want badly enough to spend the time on it. A simple goal like making apple pie wouldn’t be a disaster if I abandoned it after only a couple tries. But my writing I have spent several years on already. If I throw in the towel now, all that is wasted. I could have done something else with my time. At this point, take some time to yourself to think about it. You’re the only one who can decide if it’s worth it to you. There’s no shame in realizing you don’t want something enough to start working for it. I would like to be able to play basketball well, but I know that I don’t want it enough to dedicate the time and money to make it happen. 

If you’ve still got your goal in mind, then you’re ready to start working for it. Think about what kind of support you’ll need. Maybe you need someone to actively help you achieve it. I would need someone to help me practice to get better at basketball. Preferably someone who knew what they were doing. To write, I need my computer, a writing program, and occasional human support. Sometimes I just need some encouragement. Other times I need advice from someone who knows more about it than me. Whatever it is you’ll need, make a plan to have it available. 

We’re well on our way! Next week we’ll talk about not letting fear of what other people will say hold you back. 

Does anyone have a goal they’d like to share? I’d love to hear yours!

By the way, I’ve started a podcast! It’s a slightly expanded version of the posts here. You can check it out here and if you want to be updated feel free to subscribe!

May the Lord bless and keep you,

Heather

The Greatest of These


8-13-17

When chaos erupts in families, or countries, people often shake their heads and wonder what the answer is. I don’t claim to be able to fix all the problems going on, but I do know what the answers would boil down to. Because the Bible tells us.

It’s love.

Love for God, our fellow people, and ourselves.  If people had the right kind of love in their hearts, we wouldn’t be hearing about nuclear wars and race riots. That’s not to say it’s easy. Love, true love, is not.

Love is built on understanding that the other person is flawed, but that God created and loves them anyway. And because of that, we can love them. We can love every person on earth.

Loving someone doesn’t mean you condone everything they think or do. Sometimes it means loving them enough to tell them when they’re wrong. We need a lot of that going around today.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. – 1 Corinthians 13:13

One of the most powerful tools we have today is love. It can bring people together and mend relationships that are broken. It can, and must, start in each of us.

I grew up in a community that was almost entirely Protestant Caucasian. I am not experienced with first hand relationships with people from other cultures and backgrounds. But when I get to experience it, I love it.

The racism in our country is appalling. Sure, we should have pride in our backgrounds. We all have aspects of our ancestry that are negative, but there are also things we can celebrate. Let’s celebrate them together. More than that, let’s celebrate being just Americans. Above all, we can celebrate being the family of God.

And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’ – Acts 17:26-28

God made people. Period. He didn’t make Europeans superior to Asians or Africans. He calls us, all of us, His children. There is no room for disrespect toward people God claims, and He would claim us all.

I am a Caucasian female in her twenties. Christ came to Earth as a Middle Eastern male likely with mocha skin and spoke Greek and Aramaic.

Am I better than my Lord because of the color of my skin? Certainly not. Neither am I better than anyone else or is anyone else better than me because of what we look like.

My ancestors came from Ireland, England, Germany, Sweden, and here as Native Americans. This country does not belong to a skin color. It belongs to Americans. And that can mean anyone, of any background, who will share the freedoms that we are blessed with.

Even more importantly, God’s family belongs to anyone who will join. Remember who was a good neighbor to the man in Jesus’ parable? The one person in the story who, according to culture, would have hated him the most. Because of his race.

How dare we harm each other when God loves us and calls us to love? Let’s show love to everyone we meet. If they don’t show it first or don’t show it back? Love anyway. Love harder.

We’re all made in the image of God. No other characteristic of ourselves should be more important than that. Let’s be like the Good Samaritan to all of the people around us. Because, when you get right down to it, how different are we?

May the Lord bless and keep you,

Heather